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Reality Bytes

Reality Bytes is a comedy podcast about love in the 10s, hosted by three friends with different relationship statuses: Courtney Kocak (long-term relationship), Sofiya Alexandra (married, impending mom) & Dave Rankin (chronically single). Tune in every week for real talk about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age. A big part of being a good partner (or attracting one) is working on yourself, so get ready for deep but hilarious self-help dives. For on-air advice, send your questions to realitybytespod@gmail.com. Get the download every Wednesday!
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Oct 17, 2018

For the 14th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome Emma Koenig to fill us in on her latest book, Moan: Anonymous Essays on Female Orgasm (foreword by Rachel Bloom!).

We dig into the anthology's origin story as a popular blog entitled How to Make Me Come, the blog-to-book publishing strategy, her approach as a "fan of sex" vs. an expert, contradictions among the spectrum of sexuality, childhood shame surrounding public masturbation (fair enough), meeting her boyfriend as soon as she finished the book & tips for anyone who wants to better communicate with their partner(s) about how to get them off – plus Emma issues a listener challenge. Also, DFR shares an update on his depression journey & the squad raves about the benefits of journaling.

This episode is brought to you by Ritual vitamins. Check out ritual.com/reality to try Ritual – happiness guaranteed, or your 1st month's on them!

For more Emma Koenig:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Oct 10, 2018

For the 13th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome the hosts of the HowStuffWorks podcast Ethnically Ambiguous Anna Hossnieh & Shereen Lani Younes to talk about the complexities of growing up with Iranian-American & Syrian-American identities (respectively).

We go deep into what it’s like to grow up with strict, immigrant parents, the inexplicable ways of Anna’s Zumba instructor cousin, Anna meeting her surfer bro boyfriend at Meltdown Comics, IRL implications of the travel ban, tattoos, coming out, what NOT to say to someone during a breakup, what’s up with exes who still watch your IG stories (!!!), the temptation to rewrite history after things end badly, Arabic analogies for explaining sex to kids, putting virginity on a pedestal, parents around the world just don’t understand, covering your hair, gender-based power inequities in the Middle East & crying while tripping – plus, our reaction to the Blasey Ford/Kavanaugh hearing (literally day of).

This episode is brought to you by Motorbunny. Visit motorbunny.com & use code REALITY to save $50 on either the starter kit or the Motorbunny LINK bundle. 

For more Anna & Shereen:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Oct 3, 2018

For the 12th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome two guests. First, sociologist & author of Exposure: A Sociologist Explores Sex, Society, and Adult Entertainment Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals unpacks the invisible economic discrimination against sex workers & how Motorbunny took ride-along sex saddles from niche to accessible.

Then humor writer & essayist Riane Konc joins us from the Midwest (Cincinnati, Ohio to be exact)! She tells the hilarious, tortured tale of meeting her now-husband at age 13, recognizing she would want to be with him someday, but NOT wanting to date him yet – thus leading to a decade-long rejection before they got married & had a kid.

We also talk about attending a small religious college, how to evade income tax by having 12 kids, using God as a manipulation strategy, LiveJournal for poets, pregnancy, baby colic, star-based poems, hormones, depression, advice she would give her younger self prior to having a child, her New Yorker Shouts & Murmurs piece "How to Dismiss Harassment Like a French Woman," what it's like when French Twitter comes for you & a friendly reminder that this too shall pass (& we'll all be dead soon) – plus the crew chats fuck machines.

This episode is brought to you by Motorbunny. Visit motorbunny.com & use code REALITY to save $50 on either the starter kit or the Motorbunny LINK bundle. 

For more Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals:

For more Riane Konc:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Sep 26, 2018

For the 11th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome standup comedian, writer & Queery podcast producer Sierra Katow to talk about her college relationship blossoming into adulthood.

We also chat about her starting standup in high school, party culture at Harvard, her season on Last Comic Standing, turn-ons, tips for keeping the peace & post #MeToo comedy comebacks – plus Courtney & Sofiya rant about the dismissive responsive to Dr. Chistine Blasey Ford's allegations against Judge Brett Kavanaugh & the ugly fact that our society doesn't believe women (while DFR supports them like a good ally).

This episode is brought to you by Ritual vitamins. Check out ritual.com/reality to try Ritual – happiness guaranteed, or your 1st month's on them!

For more Sierra Katow:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Sep 19, 2018

For the 10th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome actor, writer & creator of Comedy Central's How to Be Broke Biniam Bizuneh to give us tips on broke dating.

We chop it up about gender parity in paying for dates, feminism's financial double standard, disposability in modern romance, love languages, practice relationships, defense mechanisms, the spark v. making a choice to fall in love, not wanting to date other comedians, unironic Jack Johnson fandom & what Biniam finds attractive – plus DFR dishes on his Jumbo's Clown Room date(?) & Sofiya gives a surrogate update.

For more Biniam Bizuneh:

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Sep 12, 2018

For the 9th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome standup comedians, internet personalities & married couple Adrienne Airhart & Aristotle Georgeson to give us the download on their relationship built on the crucial compatibilities of sex, drugs & rock n' roll.

We also chat about their comedy club meet cute, Adrienne getting arrested the night they met, fucking on the 1st date, Aristotle's ad agency days, moving out to LA together, Twitter in the age of Trump, taking a step back from social media, deciding to get married post-ayahuasca trip, the most chill wedding ever, roasting each other in their vows, not wanting kids, quitting weed & why their relationship works – plus the crew shares updates on their friend Stacey's wedding, DFR's prostate, Sofiya's surrogate (fingers crossed!) & Courtney's thirst trapping.

This episode is brought to you by Motorbunny. Visit motorbunny.com & use code REALITY to save $50 on either the starter kit or the Motorbunny LINK bundle. 

For more Adrienne Airhart & Aristotle Georgeson:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Sep 5, 2018

For the 8th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome standup comedian & star of Oxygen’s Funny Girls Ester Steinberg to give us the 411 on her foray into polyamory, which (spoiler!) didn't work out because now she's monogamous, engaged & writing a romcom about the whole ordeal.

We get into how Ester wore her now-fiancée down, her giant fucking engagement ring, their podcast meet cute, their attempt at an open relationship, The Ethical Slut, her musician side piece, why previous guest Nicole Aimée Schreiber deserves the good friend award, what's it like when your partner is uber-successful in a similar field, WGA health insurance, infatuation, orgasms, cumming with intention, manifesting her 1st commercial, moms who party & Cheryl Strayed's amazing Dear Sugar column "The Ghost Ship That Didn't Carry Us" – plus Sofiya shares a surrogate update.

This episode is brought to you by Ritual vitamins. Check out ritual.com/reality to try Ritual – happiness guaranteed, or your 1st month's on them!

For more Ester Steinberg:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Aug 29, 2018

For the 7th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome comedian, writer & host of the Nerdificent podcast Dani Fernandez to get nerdy with us about all things sex, relationships & dating.

This episode opens with a MUST-LISTEN story about Dave's virgin butt getting turned out by Dr. Alvaredo during his 1st prostate exam (spoiler: he liked it like a lot!), plus we talk about eating ass and butt sex in general, as well as issue a Man School song apology to Dave's sister (who happens to be a long-time listener – we love you, Deb!). Then we GET. INTO. IT. with mega babe Dani (trust us, you're gonna want to peep her IG) about losing her virginity in the OC, how sexy women are perceived in comedy, being too sexually eager as a turn-off, marrying her college sweetheart at age 24, getting divorced a year later, preserving her amazing wedding pics in the best way possible, dating in the entertainment industry, her last long-term relationship, the loneliness of breakups, what it's like to live with chronic illness, porn search history & our backstory/dialogue preferences.

For more Dani Fernandez:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Aug 22, 2018

For the 6th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome creator of the viral Instagram account @byefelipe & host of the V Single podcast Alexandra Tweten to discuss her new book Bye Felipe: Disses, Dick Pics, and Other Delights of Modern Dating.

We get into how she started the account, reflect on her (& Dave's!) decade of dating in LA, the hilarious fact that hookups are DM-ing her to see if they’re in the book, the relationship status of being monogamous with your career, the phenomenon of forgetting you went on a date with someone when you run into them later, a review of the Field app (formerly Thrinder), Alexandra's discerning dating style, the legend of Ryan, dudes who like to be humiliated about their small dick size (get at us, we wanna talk to you!!), what constitutes a good date, tips for men & women trying to date on the Internet, Google reserve image search & the story of Dave getting catfished by a “London DJ.”

For more Alexandra Tweten:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Aug 15, 2018

For the 5th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome comedian & Grindr meme god Zach Noe Towers to discuss his new LGBTQ standup special OUT on Stage.

We chat about Zach's (& Dave's!) high school a cappella group, being such a dreamboat he had a legit fan club, his type, his transition from twink to otter, gay nomenclature, dating on Grindr, the obsession with masculinity & repressed misogyny & homophobia within the gay community, little v. big spoon preference, choosing career over a relationship, the effect of seeing monogamy modeled successfully & sugar baby fantasies – plus we talk about trying to find personal space when you live with your partner in a tiny apartment.

This episode is brought to you by Ritual vitamins. Check out ritual.com/reality to try Ritual – happiness guaranteed, or your 1st month's on them!

For more Zach Noe Towers:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Aug 8, 2018

For the 4th episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome comedian & chanteuse Scout Durwood to chat about her new musical comedy album Take One Thing Off.

Our conversation runs the gamut, touching on topics including: the history of burlesque, Dita Von Teese, solving a 6-year mystery for Dave, testing your sexuality, lesbian clothes swapping, body shaming your partner (don't do it!), the correlation between homosexuality & intelligence, pansexuality as a universe baseline, breakups, learning to let go, turning heartbreak into art, the lost art of setting up single friends, marriage, monogamy & acknowledging that most relationships end – plus Sofiya fills us in on their search for a surrogate.

For more Scout Durwood:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Aug 1, 2018

For the 3rd episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome relationship coach & author Matthew Solomon to discuss his new book Man School: Relating with Women in the #MeToo Era.

We chop it up about the "actually" guys, the emotional labor of explaining the #MeToo movement to men who don't get it, the friend zone, how to handle & reframe rejection logically, the safety factor for women, why toxic masculinity hurts boys/men as much as girls/women, the danger in perpetuating gender roles, redefining what it means to be a provider, chivalry, tantra, magick with a "k" & so much more!

For more Matthew Solomon:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Jul 25, 2018

For the 2nd episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome standup comedian & host of the Ignorance is #Blessed podcast Jessica Michelle Singleton to talk about her new solo show Codependent Arising, which will be playing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival August 2nd through 26th.

We get into her last horrible breakup, the Eat Pray Love moment that inspired the show (going on 10-day silent meditation retreat), breakups in general, growing up with an alcoholic parent, abandonment issues, codependency, the quality of road dick for female comics & self-imposed celibacy (sort of). 

For more Jessica Michelle:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Jul 18, 2018

For the 1st episode of season 4, your fearless triad – Courtney Kocak, along with new co-hosts Sofiya Alexandra & Dave Rankin – is thrilled to welcome relationship self-help gurus & real-life married couple Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola to discuss their new book How to Keep Your Marriage From Sucking.

Greg & Amiira are also the bestselling authors of He’s Just Not That Into You, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken & It’s Just a F***ing Date. They drop so much tried & true wisdom in this episode – it's a must-listen to set yourself up for wedded bliss!

For more Greg & Amiira:

If you love this episode, please leave us a 5-star rating & sexy review! xo

Feb 14, 2018

*We apologize for the delay in releasing this final episode. There was an issue with Wade's sound that we were hoping to fix, but alas, this is the best we could do. Also maybe we didn't want it to be over. ;) Enjoy!

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 22nd (& final!) episode of season 3, the duo are thrilled to welcome their significant others, comedian & Who's Your Sign? podcast co-host Julia Loken & restaurateur Wade McElroy, to discuss meet cute stories, early relationship misfires, the monogamy vs. boyfriend/girlfriend conversation & what it's like when your partner has a sex & dating podcast. 

This episode is brought to you by the Fab Skin, Hot Bodies with Dr. Jeannette Graf podcast & FabFitFun (go to fabfitfun.com & use code REALITY to get $10 off your first FabFitFun box).

And if you like good eats, check out Wade's restaurants: Horsethief BBQ at Grand Central Market, Cafe Birdie in Highland Park & – coming soon – Ma'am Sir in Silver Lake.

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

Feb 7, 2018

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 21st episode of season 3, the pair welcome actress Joy Nash (Dietland, Twin Peaks) for a deep ep about the lessons death teaches you about life, why it's so important to nurture a great relationship with yourself, dating app fatigue, her ideal beau (rhymes with Mavid Marber) & her amazing Dietland casting story – plus Courtney & Steve share their high school sexploits.

This episode is brought to you by FabFitFun (go to fabfitfun.com & use code REALITY to get $10 off your first FabFitFun box).

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

Jan 31, 2018

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 20th episode of season 3, the duo chat with porn actor & debut author Logan Pierce on his new book of autobiographical fiction Between the Sheets: Rise of a Working Stiff (under the alias J.R. Verlin), why he chose to use a pen name, the 1st time he saw sex onscreen, how he took practical steps to accomplish his dream of becoming a porn performer, moving to Hollywood, what happened when his parents finally found out, why he's found it easier to date within the industry, meeting his current girlfriend on-the-job, the widespread use of Viagra on porn sets, what it's like to bomb as a porn performer, society's incorrect stereotype of women in sex work, his role as a male cheerleader & how he keeps a lid on objectifying women, why he decide decided to write a book about his experiences in porn & his favorite part of the book (hint: gang bang) – plus Courtney & Steve talk aging, forgiveness & masturbation habits.

This episode is brought to you by the Fab Skin, Hot Bodies with Dr. Jeannette Graf podcast.

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

Jan 24, 2018

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 19th episode of season 3, the pair welcome comedian & writer Riley Silverman for a great chat about growing up with a lack of a queer conversation, crossdressing at a young age, shifting on the Kinsey scale post-transition, the crucial role of transgender women of color in the Stonewall riots, what it was like to wear a dress in public for the first time, being a standup comic coming out "on the job," dating a fan, the long journey to a swift shift in media inclusivity, the timing factor in relationships & no-fault breakups – plus Courtney & Steve talk period sex, mismatched libidos & the worthwhile work of a relationship sex.

NOTE: Riley's gender confirmation surgery was unfortunately cancelled at the last minute by her insurance company - do better insurance companies!

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

Jan 17, 2018

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 18th episode of season 3, the duo chat with former host of Dinner and a Movie & current host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour, Paul Gilmartin, about what inspired him to start the hit podcast, how to be a good partner to someone struggling with depression, abusing drugs & alcohol & the crutch of self-medication, how suicidal thoughts at the height of his success made him realize it was time to get help, intimacy issues & emotional incest, getting sober & dealing with divorce – plus some of his favorite episodes of his show.

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

Jan 10, 2018

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 17th episode of season 3, the pair chop it up with filmmaker, photographer & musician Tao Ruspoli (who also happens to be the son of an Italian prince & the ex-husband of Olivia Wilde) about his new documentary Monogamish, featuring Dan Savage, Esther Perel, Stephanie Coontz & many other prominent figures in that field. We deep dive into the project's conception, his interesting childhood, different shades of non-monogamy (open relationships, polyamory, etc.) & how to manage the paradox of monogamy – plus Courtney & Steve discuss the Lena Dunham/Jack Antonoff split.

This episode is brought to you by the Fab Skin, Hot Bodies with Dr. Jeannette Graf podcast & FabFitFun (go to fabfitfun.com & use code REALITY to get $10 off your first FabFitFun box).

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

 

Jan 3, 2018

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 16th episode of season 3, the duo welcome photographer extraordinaire Maggie West back to the show for her 3rd interview – except this time she brings her bangin' hot sexbot Luci 6000, created for a holiday installation at the Museum of Sex in NYC, on now through February 15th. We talk the overhyped millennial sex slump, smartphones as a breeding ground for casual coitus (or not), media satire, Luci's little black book & how pretty much everyone is sprung on the idea of robot sex – plus Luci shares her pro sexting tips.

This episode is brought to you by the Fab Skin, Hot Bodies with Dr. Jeannette Graf podcast.

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

 

Dec 27, 2017

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 15th episode of season 3, the pair go deep with D'Lo, queer/transgender Tamil-Sri Lankan-American actor/writer/comedian & co-producer of Disoriented Comedy, on growing up in Lancaster, being Hindu in a Baptist Christian school, the horror of having to wear a dress on special occasions, the gender flexibility of hiphop fashion, the first time he kissed a girl, late night rendezvous with his college dorm RA, coming out (twice), avoiding arranged marriage, social justice spoken word, his dope queen, transitioning, to T or not to T, his second puberty, the power of testosterone against tears & the evolving media landscape – especially in terms of queerness & gender identity.

This episode is brought to you by the Fab Skin, Hot Bodies with Dr. Jeannette Graf podcast.

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

 

Dec 20, 2017

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 14th episode of season 3, the duo sit down with comedian & skateboarder Whitmer Thomas on going through a breakup, therapy, honesty, high school relationships, hooking up on being what it once was, the perks of being a delivery boy, being from 'the wrong side of the tracks,' pure love, co-dependence, romanticism as a worldview, Instagram as a dating app & just wanting to get back to fucking all his friends. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE (if you don't celebrate the religious or commercial holiday, we wish you secular good vibes)!!!

This episode is brought to you by the new gay dating app Chappy (head over to the app store & download Chappy today) & the Fab Skin, Hot Bodies with Dr. Jeannette Graf podcast.

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

Dec 13, 2017

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 13th episode of season 3, the pair sit down with Alix McAlpine, host of the Swipe Out podcast & Director of Content Strategy at GIPHY Studios, to talk faux relationship mindfucks, how cupid killed season 1 of her podcast, manifesting one's perfect partner through a list of ideal attributes & falling in love with "good vibes" Gabe – plus Courtney gets into an accident & Steve recorded his album (!!!).

This episode is brought to you by the new gay dating app Chappy (head over to the app store & download Chappy today).

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

Dec 6, 2017

REALITY BYTES is a show about sex, love, relationships & dating in the digital age, hosted by Courtney Kocak & Steve Hernandez, produced in partnership with JASH. For the 12th episode of season 3, the duo are thrilled to interview author, sex educator & feminist activist Jaclyn Friedman about her new book Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power, and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All. Thank you to The Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood for hosting this live show. They are also offering a great deal on Unscrewed, so buy a copy for yourself & give it as the gift that keeps on giving this holiday season: thepleasurechest.com/unscrewed.html!

This episode is brought to you by the new gay dating app Chappy (head over to the app store & download Chappy today) & BarkBox (visit barkbox.com/reality for a FREE EXTRA MONTH when you subscribe to a 6 or 12-month plan).

Please rate & review to tell us what you love!

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